When You Are In An Abusive Relationship 0 265

5 out of 10

An abusive relationship is often regarded as a trivial issue even some of my friends do not believe if there is an issue of abusive relationship. This is because dating (pacaran) is a relationship based on the name of love, so it is definitely happy. An abusive relationship is a relationship that there is an element of compulsion and harm one partner. Women’s commission of Indonesia (Komnas Perempuan) has stated that there about 21% of cases are related to abusive relationships. Abusive relationship cases in ranks second most cases of violence against women after cases of domestic violence.

An abusive relationship has a variety of forms, such as emotional, physical, verbal, and financial. The reason I am concerned about the issue of abusive relationship is that my friends are victims of it. I often see my friend quarrel with her boyfriend just because my friend chose to hang out with me, finally; my friend must choose between me or her boyfriend. I also often see my friend out of the campus organization because her boyfriend does not like her too busy. By reason of her boyfriend wanting my friend to have plenty of time for both of us. Another form of dating violence is checking unauthorized mobile or social media, trailing both physically and digitally, imposing sex, often underestimating and mocking you, having explosive emotions, accusing you of nonsense

It is not easy for a person to realize that she is in an unhealthy relationship. Individuals consider that the violence experienced is a form of love couples to her. While the offender is entitled to violence because it considers love is an ownership. I love you, then you are mine. I emphasize again here that the violence is not just physical violence. If the victim realizes that what she is experiencing is an unhealthy relationship, she will make denials that her partner is not really that, that later her partner will change for her. Until finally, these denials are what keeps a person in an unhealthy relationship.

How pathetic if you see someone hurt precisely by people who claim to love her. And many people who survive in unhealthy relationships do not know how to end it. The first is to admit that something is not right in your relationship, talk to your partner if necessary make an agreement between the two of you. Then next is never to lose contact with around you, family or friends. And last but not least, ask for more professional help, such as psychologists and women-mentoring agencies. Quoting a psychologist’s words, that love does not hurt but the person who loves you hurts you. Have a good fight from abusive relationships.

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Feti Fajriyatin is a 21 years old Sociology student from Indonesia who interested in gender's issues.

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