Charming, alluring, and ravishingly brooding Christian Grey: the man behind the many heteronormative fantasies that have been coming to light within the past few weeks. Grey is also the male protagonist of the recently released major motion sequel to the 50 Shades series.
The 50 Shades Trilogy is a series classified as Erotic Romance Fiction by author E. L. James. The series follows the abusive relationship between a career-oriented and self-labeled misfit, Anastasia Steele, and a wealthy entrepreneur, Christian Grey. The film sequel was written by Niall Leonard and directed by James Foley.
Following the world-wide release, 50 Shades Darker has taken so many of us, willingly and unwillingly, on a trip of ignoring every red flag in the name of love. *Spoiler alert.* Even when that red flag breaks into your apartment and holds you at gunpoint, later to be brought to their knees by Master… in your apartment.
Whether or not you actively form opinions about the content of this series, we have all heard, atleast to the smallest degree, of the inaccurate and unsafe representation of the BDSM community the series takes a stand on. After my viewing of Foley’s adaptation, I’ve concluded a list of steps to take if you’re looking to get back with an abusive, manipulating, controlling ex-lover. Slapping the title of BDSM over all of the red flags in this decision plays a key role in this list.
How to Reignite Your Manipulative Relationship:
- If it didn’t work the first time because he got too manipulating for you to handle, it’s definitely going to work the second time.
- Believe you ARE the good girl who can finally help this bad boy. No matter what all of his ex-lovers say about it.
- Understand that your lover’s expression of dislike for “strangers gawking at you” or giving you any attention without his consent is a form of his unwavering love for you. He loves you so much he doesn’t want to share you with anyone. So much so that your face, which is your identification to the rest of the sight-privileged world, must not be viewed by anyone without his approval. You know, for his comfort.
- Understand the support for your unwanted financial dependence is for the benefit of you. You’ve got gadgets and gizmos a-plenty. You’ve got $24K in your bank, thanks to your lover.
- Let him trust you enough to get his ex-lover’s approval. Trust is when he takes you to be pampered by his ex-lover, who also happened to feed and manipulate his adolescent confusion to make him the man he is today. Purposely taking you to see and meet his ex-lover is him trusting you enough to meet who is important to him, even if that happens to be the woman who may have taken advantage of a vulnerable minor. He obviously also just wants to show you off to her… right? After you get her approval as his current lover, of course.
- Understand that sometimes (all of the times) this relationship is required to be prioritized above any and every career opportunity. Because, if you don’t have love, what’s the point of having a career? Who are you building your career for, anyway, if not for your lover?
- Realize that involving non-consensual strangers in public acts of passion is invigorating (for him). Taking part in vulnerable public acts within a close proximity of strangers, disregarding their comfort of witnessing said acts, is just another form of PDA. He’s entitled to it.
- Don’t get fazed by the manipulation of his ex-lovers. His most-recent contracted ex-lover breaking into your apartment and holding you at gunpoint, caused by the level of disrespect she endured from said contract, is in no way relative to the dynamic of our relationship. He says you’re different and, from Step #2, you truly believe you can change him. She’s just jealous and confused. Poor girl.
- When he opens up about his mommy-issues that root his unhealthy obsession to cause pain to women who share similar features as his mother, this is the ultimate sign of his trust in you. True, it is fact that majority of people have issues with family members and they can practice healthy expression to grow as individuals who deal with their past. But, this is significant because he has you understanding that you are special enough to know this information about him. It’s about the fact that he shared this information, not about the content of the information. His troubled and unexpressed issues just means a more interesting, and sometimes unpleasant, time between the sheets that you get to label as BDSM.
- At the end of the day, your love conquers all the manipulations attempted by jealous bystanders. Him giving his ex-lover more attention by taking the long-due action of eliminating her from your relationship is the ultimate tell-tale of how strong your love is. Even if he’s still learning how to separate his desires for you from his vengeful desires of facing his memories of his mother.
I did take away a few impressive factors from the movie. The lighting and composition of shots was great. The wardrobe was submissive. The plot jumped so much; it made little sense until it was spelled out for you. So, not very many impressive factors, but I did, indeed, take away factors.
The dark-sided fairy tale gets 2 stars from me. The only redeeming qualities were lighting and composition and Jamie Dornan’s facial hair.