Whenever people say that they’re so proud of being “heartless,”rude,” or “cynical”, or proud of having a low moral compass, or having foul attitude, I somehow can no longer relate. I also disagree with the notion that having bad conditions or experiences justifies us to act rude. I swear, I have had my phase of being rude, heartless, cynical, brash, and foul mouthed with zero manner and low moral compass. And I somehow have had a moment where I considered those profane traits as a strong point. I didn’t exactly feel proud of being that way, nor did I justify myself for it due to my mental health condition, but at some point I used to think that it was cool to stay on being rude and heartless as a coping mechanism towards the fucked up world. It didn’t make me feel better.

And now, I no longer see the point of it all. I mean, sure, it’s your choice, I’m chill with your life choices if you’re up to doing it, but as for me, I don’t see the point of spreading bad vibes to our social media accounts or any other platforms. I don’t see the point of glorifying the use of profane words and harsh manners all the time. I don’t see the point of constantly manifesting crude thoughts in a toxic manner that affects everyone else too. I’m like, so done with that phase.

And if you enjoy doing that then I’m cool with it. I’m not a patronizing moral police and I know that being positive isn’t a solution and seeing the good in everything is a deluded utopia. But I think we can still remain kindhearted while being realistic and rational at a same time. There’s nothing wrong with admitting that something is fucked up. What matters is the way you convey it. And I know it is easier said than done, but I think it’d be nice if illnesses and bad circumstances didn’t stop us from being a sincere and kindhearted person. I don’t think we should always be cynical and heartless to think rationally. I don’t think we should always use profane words and bad manners to subvert against the wretched society. And I don’t think that having a moral compass and a compassionate heart would always lead us to being hurt as long as we know our limits and how to remain assertive.

The thing is, I don’t think positivity is always applicable, but I also don’t think that negativity makes things any better either. Too much of either side can only lead to catastrophe. As for me, if I could prevail, I want to remain kindhearted despite my condition and circumstances. I want to stop complaining and making toxic posts on my social media accounts. I want to stop being so profane, harsh, and cynical all the time.

if I were to picture it, heres the thing– highlight this; I don’t really believe in friendships and the concept of love, I don’t trust people, I think the government and the system are flawed, I don’t believe in religions and political alignments, and I think that the concept of marriage, romantic relationships, and family are problematic. But all those things don’t make me a person full of hate. All those things don’t stop me from being a decent person who treats others kindly with a functioning moral compass. Not everything is peaceful and gold but not every bad thing should be faced with loathe and indignation.