12:30 am and while I was scrolling through my social media timeline, I just saw something that was really disturbing. Two people arguing about what happened long ago, some older post of them which was posted years ago. The latter person has pulled out some older posts of the former person as a judgment of how she used to be years ago, using swear words. Something more like telling her to ‘Stop pretending to be so good now when you were like this years ago!‘ It occurred to me about how this happens on a daily basis to everyone at some point of their life, getting judged based on their past and the worse was about how it only affects women in a negative way.
‘Tequila to Technology‘
I am sure most of you’re wondering what this headline is about, while few of you must have actually gained a little bit of understanding behind it. Well, tequila, as we all know is a type of beverage: an alcoholic drink. And on the other hand, technology… do I even need to explain this term? I don’t think so, because it’s the most widely known and used term in today’s computerized world. So apparently what I meant by the headline is about a quick change, from drunk to decent, for example. Drinking a lot of tequila, partying every night to working with more of tech-based gadgets, studying the new modern developed technologies sort of change.
What type of change is that now? A good one, yeah.
Well, that’s where everything comes into the light: the evaluations and final judgments. Whether or not it’s a good type of a change in a person’s character/behavior, based on something related to one’s past just alongside gender differentials. WOMEN get judged in a negative manner regardless of the type of change she makes while men are excused simply because they are men and are all allowed to act however they want. Not going to lie, this only happens/is happening mostly in South Asian countries. The gender-based judgemental conclusions regarding one’s character.
Change. Growth. Two different words with completely two different meanings that suit so well together. So well that they go together perfectly as a pair, like, you grow up as a result of which you decide to make a change in your ways of life and or, you change your ways of life as a result of which you grow and mature through its consequences. As a woman, it’s quite challenging to endure those consequences that come with the decisions we make in life whether it was related to our growth or change, believe me. Be it education, marriage, childbirth or anything and just everything that comes under ‘women’s responsibilities.‘ Men, on the other hand, are those lucky homosapiens who never get judged for how they used to behave years ago even if it would have been something so awful.
Straight to the point, a guy who has been a drunkard, flirt, playboy, etc will be respected, appreciated, spoken good about, regardless of what and how he used to be during his teens in the name of ‘maturity‘ when he reaches his twenties or late twenties but in the same sense, if a girl, forget about being a flirt or playgirl, if she simply has had a love affair that most of them have known about during her teens and doesn’t end up marrying that same guy she has been seeing for that time-period of being immature, best believe me, she will forever be termed as the ‘bad girl‘. When a WOMEN makes some changes in life, changes from good to better due to maturity, growing up being the lady she always wanted to be, as a goal-digger, chasing her goals, it is termed as being ‘pretentious.’ Why? Because she is a GIRL!
According to our amazing, extraordinary, mind-blowing society, it’s perfectly fine when a man goes from loving tequila to technology real quick because that’s maturity. But when a girl goes from chasing after a dumb guy to chasing her goals, it’s called ‘double-dealing’ or having ‘double standards.’
It’s high time for all the women out there to stop expecting any appreciation for all the good things we do and pursue in life except for our parents, close family and friends since as a gift of being born as a woman from a South Asian country, more and more people are only going to look for faults, at least minor ones for criticizing about. Dear ladies, remember:
Every woman that has finally figured out her worth, has picked up her suitcases of pride and boarded a flight to freedom, which landed in the valley of change.
We are all human beings and have all the rights to make the necessary changes in our life regardless of what others think and criticize. If you don’t like where you are now, it’s time for you to start walking, stop explaining and moving forward making the necessary changes in life. Don’t like your current friends? Cut off the communication and make new ones. Don’t like the guy you’ve been seeing from grade 10 as he turned out to be that same exact douchebag he assured his annoying cousin was? Well, let go of him without any second thoughts. Don’t like the guy your parents have seen and want you to get married to? Go ahead, say NO and explain to them how he’s not the type of guy you want to get married to.
Don’t nod your head for everything just because you feel like you owe to abide by others’ rules and regulations just because you’re a GIRL. You are a WOMAN and you have every right to make your decisions in life. It’s your life after all.
Don’t ever be afraid, shy, mentally broken, insecure or embarrassed about the mistakes you did when you were young, when you were immature when you didn’t actually know the difference between what was right and wrong. It’s just about who understands that we all make mistakes and that’s how we grow up, making better changes in life accepting that yes, it’s perfectly fine to have made those dumb mistakes back then.
Be it regarding a field of study you chose to study, a two-faced person you considered to be your best friend and spilled out all your secrets to or even a toxic boy you dated assuming to be the love of your life sorts of mistakes. Let that sink in, dear queens! You are a WOMAN, equal to a man in terms of feelings, immaturity, growth and the red-colored liquid namely blood that flows inside his body. Nothing more or nothing less.