Trigger warning: abuse
Hi. Hi Brian? Uhm, can I ask you something?
I am 20. 20 years old. As I currently trace the lines around my face, I see. I see maturity. I see the girl. Your girl.
Your girl was led, back against her little white pony. Mouth agape, reading aloud. Off on a ditty. Book in hand. She was fantasizing. Fascinated by an imaginary boy with a hat and a saxophone. She was hurting. But not the way she did since.
How are you doing, man? Finished university, I imagine? All of them have. The GAA boys did too. Moppy hair and boyish grins. Mammys loved them, so they did. Luckily old Ring did too, let them off. Drops of blood on a toilet seat in Ireland, pain held tight, thinking, Brian, you trained me.
You loved me when I was happy. When every single thing occurred because of your influence. You hid. To me, you were my world—the man who treated me like his sister. But taught me and made me be funny for you.
I didn’t finish school. In fact, I hardly went. I didn’t sit exams.
I did nothing, I just stayed numb.
Hey, I hope that you think of me, you know. Just maybe, be honest with some people, sometimes. Maybe be aware, you manipulated my young mind. You made me stumble into countless scenarios for the rest of my life, right up until 3 years ago.
Once it started, I couldn’t get it to stop. I met a man, yeah, he was such a nice man, but things got black, and then he was on top of me, inside. I fought to get off. But that means nothing to me. The trauma I have faced. The one that teaches me why it all happened is you. The one I come back too is you.
Hey, I would love to just ask you. Why let your lonelieness consume me?
Sometimes I meet that girl, your girl, and I sit down and I hug her. I give her the love she is looking for. I stroke her hair. I kiss her face.
Good. Bye. Brian. I have been looking after your girl for a long time now.
2/3 of young girls say they have been sexually harassed online.
Child grooming has a long-lasting and severe effect on a person’s ability to function and know the difference between right and wrong.
Brian should have been arrested. But Irish schools have no protection policies in place for abuse or grooming.
Grooming victims come out later in life, due to not realizing at the time what classified a groomer and lack of education on crimes.