As women who love to go out and enjoy time with their friends, we face some challenges from the beginning of the night to when we get home. I feel that I’m speaking on behalf of many women when I say that we have to prepare mentally and physically for anything that could happen during a night out.
Dressing nice isn’t always that easy
Starting with getting ready, we want to look nice, sexy and feel good about ourselves. Until we realize that our dress might be too short or that our neckline is too low – things that men don’t have to worry about.
Getting the taxi is another level of stress in coming up with the best answer to give to the driver – starting with “good evening.” The driver might ask how a beautiful lady like yourself doesn’t have a boyfriend, that tone of his voice scaring you slightly. The way he is looking at you as if he’s just waiting for the chance to get to you – his eyes undressing you in his mind without remorse. But, you keep repeating, “I have a boyfriend.”
When no just isn’t enough
One night I was with my friend at an outdoor live music party. At every turn, there was a man that would follow behind me asking to dance with him in the dirtiest way. A male friend was with us that night, and he was the fake boyfriend for us.
Every time a guy came and didn’t take “no” for an answer, we would give him the “help” look and he would come to hang around us. The second he arrived those men would walk away so quickly! The funny thing is they would come and ask, “Wanna come to my place tonight?” and the answer was always no, but it came out as, “I have a boyfriend.”
Getting home is never easy
The worst and scariest part is when you have to take a taxi home at the end of the night. You keep thinking, “Should I end the ride before I arrive at my home so the driver doesn’t know where I live?,” but then if I do that, I can’t walk home safely. The amount of anxiety we deal with every day from the possibility of sexual harassment is very saddening.
It shouldn’t be a phrase we need to use
I hate using the sentence “I have a boyfriend” to protect myself from some men. But it seems as if they can’t respect a simple “no” when it comes from a woman.
If you tell them no a million times, sometimes they still will not go away. It feels as though their egos are so high that they can’t fathom how someone could say no to them. But suddenly, if you use the “I have a boyfriend” phrase, they respect the fact that you “belong” to another man.
How long will we have to protect ourselves from men by using other men? We as women have had enough of this.
I know I’m not the only one who uses the “I have a boyfriend” line. Many of my friends and other women use it as well. The fear that lives inside of every woman because of a man’s behavior is no longer acceptable.
I send my love for every woman in this world who has to live with the fear of walking alone at night, going to a bar alone, and the horrible feeling of using a taxi at any time of day.