Sex is a topic we all unconsciously avoid yet can never get enough of. We are too shy to openly discuss it due to what we were taught in school and society.

Sex is a discussion we avoid yet enjoy. We aren’t informed about this from our peers, family, or society. We are missing out on understanding one important desire that can relieve us.

Growing up in an Asian like community, sex wasn’t a topic that was easily discussed. I know many things about sex from Youtube and hours of roaming around in libraries, reading. Even porn has taught me many types of positions to fantasize about and try soon. Yet within society, it was never something that could be openly or honestly discussed.

For centuries, many of us were openly actively sexual. Religious and cultural aspects aside, why do we shy away from sex? Why don’t we discuss what pleases us? Or the type of sexual fantasies that arouses us? Why do we all constantly avoid admitting our sex life or what turns us on?

Psychologists and researchers are trying to comprehend why it is difficult to talk about our desires with others. We should be able to speak our minds without feeling like someone is judging us. Communication is key. Avoiding talking about what you are looking for sexually causes many restrictions and tensions. It causes waiting for the right time and mood to undress and create warmth, creates a lack of pleasure over time. If we don’t discuss what we want or need, it will only break the sexual bond between two people.

As someone who is very open-minded and enjoys some form of pleasure, I know it wasn’t easy within our society. Being in a relationship was difficult; over time, we moved apart sexually and started pleasuring ourselves alone. My friends didn’t enjoy speaking of it that often either. Most of them would start judging and labeling anyone in our circle who talked about their sex life. Being called a slut, a whore, or whatever word, is extremely offensive.

It is wrong to assume and call others these atrocious labels without knowing anything. Sex seems to be a topic where many take offense or easily joke about it. Men can easily discuss it within the school or in society, but women mostly get shut down from discussing it. For example, if a man expresses his fantasies indirectly, no one will say much at a woman. If a woman expresses what she wants, people will insult her to the core. It is sad how it is okay for some people, men, to degrade women sexually. When women degrade men, it raises “red flags.” Sex isn’t a foreign toy.

We all are sexual beings, waking up to wet dreams, watching porn, or simply just masturbating.

I have always been comfortable discussing it or expressing what arouses me. It is normal to understand and love yourself. To know what truly makes you happy, in and out of bed. Start speaking up for yourself. Start to understand what your body likes and wants. Ask questions. Have a healthy discussion. Educate yourself on fantasies, arousal methods, types of sex toys, sexually transmitted diseases, etc.

We aren’t exposed to the concept of sex or sexuality when we’re young.

Sex is quite invigorating. It is an art form that constantly changes us through us feeling many things, like the warmth of one’s skin against each other.

Don’t be ashamed to discuss or have sex. Let’s normalize talking about sex.

Read also:
Let’s Normalize This: Female Masturbation
“Sexual Shame Is In Itself A Kind Of Death”: Alison Bechdel’s Fun Home
Is It Cool To Care?