Father’s Day is a commercial holiday that is usually a joyous time to honor the fathers that sacrifice and give their all for their children. On this day we usually see people out with family, and many posts on social media of people celebrating the presence of their dads. While this occasion is a happy time for some, just a friendly reminder to be mindful of those who are unable to celebrate. A couple of reasons someone might be unable to celebrate this occasion would include having a toxic/abusive father, or a father that has passed on from this world.

Toxic and/or abusive fathers:

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It can be hard to accept that there are parents out there that are toxic especially if the situation does not apply to you. As tough as it is to imagine, think of those who find it tough every day because they are constantly let down by an absent, emotionally unavailable, manipulative, or abusive biological father. Most of the time people are told to put their feelings aside and celebrate this holiday with their fathers, “because your dad is still your dad,” but this is an inappropriate and dangerous message to deliver to somebody who has a toxic or abusive parent. Many people are not blessed with parents who strive to have a good relationship with them and most people will never know a father’s love. For reasons like this people choose not to celebrate this holiday.

A father is available, a father is loving, a father is not toxic.

If your father does not possess the traits to be a good presence in your life, remember that you are brave, and not obligated to celebrate this holiday. You and your mental health matter more than anything.

Deceased Fathers:

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A day like this can be difficult when someone who has lost their father see’s everyone around them celebrating with theirs when they are unable to. There is nothing as painful in this life as dealing with the loss of a loved one. Please remember that some people’s loving fathers have passed on from this world, and they are not able to celebrate this day with them. A day like this can cause one to miss the comforting and available presence of their father more than ever. Be empathetic toward those that find this day a tough one to get through.

If you are finding this day difficult, try to reminisce and rejoice in the good times, and remember that the soul of a loved one will always be with you, even if they aren’t physically here anymore.

While there are various reasons why a person would not be able to celebrate Father’s Day, these two reasons are usually the most common. On any day it is extremely important to realize that everyone’s situation differs from the next person. A day like Father’s Day can be especially triggering for those who are unable to celebrate. Use this day to do what YOU want, and surround yourself with people who understand your feelings and emotions. These suggestion are not listed with the expectation that your pain will cease to be present, but in hopes that it will help make things a little bit easier. Please remember to be supportive of each other and try to understand each individual’s point of view.