The Five Stages of Realising You’re A Feminist (With A Capital F) 0 352

  1. You’re a feminist. Of course, you are.  You want equality for all genders.  But…”feminism” is not really for you.  It’s gone too far.  You’re not any kind of man-hater.  You prefer to think of yourself as an egalitarian or just a plain old normal fair person.  After all, it’s not all that bad, is it?
  2. *Insert politician here* says something horrifically sexist. *Insert celebrity here* commits a long string of sexual assaults.  *Insert useless colleague here* gets promoted above you.    Maybe, just maybe, there’s something in this feminism lark.
  3. You do some reading. Download a few podcasts.  Pay more attention to the news.  You start to recognise the problem isn’t just some men who have treated you badly.  You talk to your girlfriends and they have countless stories just like yours that you would normally shrug off with a roll of the eyes and a muttered “men” but now you begin to think; why do men act that way?  And why do we just accept it?  Words like patriarchy, structural oppression, privilege, intersectionality, period poverty, female genital mutilation, workplace discrimination and consent culture become a standard part of your vocabulary.  You’ve finally out the capital at the beginning of Feminist.
  4. You stop shaving your pits. You stop painting your nails.  You stop dating because men are trash.  That’s what you’re supposed to do, right?
  5. You realise that there is no ‘supposed to do’ in feminism. You can wear pink nail polish and bleach your moustache and still be a feminist.  You find your stride, your place in the movement.  Whether you’re the shouty, protesting kind or the quiet, article writing kind, or somewhere in between.  You are truly your best feminist self.
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F. R. Kesby is a poet and storyteller from Leeds, England. She studies language and literature, teaches English as a foreign language as well as writing (and ranting) about feminism, LGBTQ+ issues, her life as a disabled person and, of course, Doctor Who. You can find more of her writing on Spoons and Toons.

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