Over the years as I grew up, I had to struggle to fit into the “ideal” body image that this society has always created. Those PE lessons were torturous with the constant disapproving glare of the gym teacher, observing my every single movement. And the time I stepped onto the weighing scale and heard my classmates snicker behind me. About the time when I couldn’t eat anything in school because I was too shy and maybe a little bit too sensitive to any brutal comments thrown at me. There was a time I refused to go out to shop for new clothes to save myself and my parents from the initial embarrassment of repeatedly having to reject a perfect outfit just because it didn’t fit.
“No one is interested in an overweight woman”
I was frequently reminded how I had to change myself, lose weight in order to attract “men” towards me. I was regularly reminded about my marriage in the future and how ” no one is interested in an overweight woman.”
My whole day would crumble down if I saw someone pass by me, pointing at my flabby stomach and laughing. Or if I heard someone say insensitive words about how I should be dressing “according” to my weight. Most of the times, it was someone from within my family who would bug me about this and then say “you really need to have more confidence.” I was told that the curves on my body attracted the wrong kind of attention. Opening Istagram, Twitter, as I laid my eyes upon the flawless pictures of different celebrities, I would double tap the pictures and like them socially, but inside, I’d want to become like them. Thin, beautiful, elegant. Tears slid down my face whenever i had to attend a family gathering or any other social event. i couldn’t bring myself to talk to anyone or socialise anymore. I completely cut myself off of my social media and I wouldn’t upload my pictures. I wanted to change myself. I wanted to change the way I looked. I was obsessed with the thought of change.
However, the only thing I should’ve changed was my mentality. The way I thought about myself like I was nothing and I didn’t belong here. I felt worthless and let people walk all over me. I should’ve known better than to give society what it wanted from me. Because the only one you should be serving, is yourself.
You see that’s what the society has been doing. These people, they have created this perfect image of a woman’s body and they expect every single woman to step on this Earth to be shaped exactly according to their expectations. They’ll emotionally torture a woman until she moulds herself into the shape which satisfies them. To them, a woman who does not look like their desired way, is not up to their standards and definitely not worth their time.
Changing the way you think can deeply effect your view of yourself. You’d start seeing yourself as a different person, a beautiful person if you think positively. No one in this world has the right to make you feel like shit. It’s your mind who plays these games on your heart.
No matter if you have a lot of meat on your bones, or if you don’t have any meat on your bones. No matter if you are tall or short. If you have a curvy body or no curves at all. No matter what colour you are. As long as you stay happy and accept yourself the way you are, you’re beautiful.
absolutely adored this! as someone who has been struggling with being a “big girl” since i was a child; this really hit home. love your take on perspective and mentality. more power to you!
Thank you Aisha ?❤
Amazing
Thank you!
Hands up to you Iza dear!!! Let people say what they think, but don’t ever fear by them!!! Just ignore them and live your life the way you want your life to be!!! Don’t care about people, you are the bestest person I have ever met in my life!!! Love you darling!!!!!
Fatimaaa ❤❤
I struggled with this a lot and I’m still struggling in a sense. I’m so happy that you have realised that the only one who should be affected by all this is yourself and that you’re past this. I wish all the girls in the world realise that we donot need to be the perfect size to survive. It’s our life and it’s our choice. I loved this article so much.
Haye ❤
Iza, out of all the articles I read this women’s day, this one stood out the most to me. Finally, a raw article on the reality of body image issues and how our society plays an integral part in aggravating them. I’d love to read more from you, keep writing ❤️
Thank you so much Hadiya ?❤
Having gone through almost the same thing, when my body started changing, I understand the feeling of self loathing and to sugar coat it, it isn’t nice. But you’re right, it’s how we think that matters not how we look. I love you for talking about this and know that you are beautiful, inside out. ?
I love you tj ❤❤
OMG Iza this is Amazing. I read soo many articles this Women’s Day but nothing was as honest and as raw as what you wrote. Kudos to you for doing an extraordinary job.
Thank you so much omg this means a lot to me ??❤