You know, I have just recently realized that most comedians are men.
I have just recently realized how often girls say they would rather have male friends because they are more amusing.
I have just recently realized that the father is usually the “fun parent” and the mother is the “bad cop.”
Well, you might conclude: “boys are more fun.”
Let me tell you:
A week ago I joined a course to become a monitor for leisure activities for summer camps, extracurricular courses…there are only 19 of us in the class and there is only one guy.
On our first break, some of us were speaking, trying to get to know each other. One of the girls (we will call her Mary) complained (to a FULL WOMEN group, keep this in mind) about the lack of boys in our class. She proceeded to say (exact words here): “Boys are just more fun. Girls are just… mean.”
There was an instant of silence.
Afterwards, Paula (again, not her real name) laughed and admitted it was true. She said girls were angrier and mean to each other.
Again, there was a couple of seconds of silence.
Later, she nervously giggled one more time and stated: “Well, not me. I am not mean. I am just speaking about what other girls do in general.”
May I insist here on the fact that there were ONLY GIRLS here. Only girls speaking. Only girls listening.
In fact, to point out how deeply interiorized is this misconception, I will share with you another detail. Mary was wearing a T-shirt that said “Girls can do anything ♀” right as she said this sentence. So she is probably a feminist. Or, at least, somehow supports women’s rights.
Still, she thought it was normal to comment on a relaxed and all-girl environment that she is mean. That we all are. However, Paula proceeded to quickly put herself out of that group of mean girls, because she is “not that kind of girl.” But the rest of us are.
I can’t stress enough how important it is that we realize that the patriarchy takes over each and every aspect of our lives and they all should be deconstructed and analyzed. There is a reason why we believe that hanging out with boys is more fun. Sadly, it relies on the fact that we have been raised to see other women as competitors, not as cooperators. We have always been fighting each other over males. Especially over males approval.
While men grow up to build a brotherhood, where they justify even their friend’s most awful behaviors, we grow up to criticize every aspect of other women’s lives.
It is sad because it is not true that women are mean. There are some women who are mean. Obviously. There are also some Muslims who are mean, some Mexicans who are mean… But we do not approve of racist or islamophobic people. Because not all Muslims are mean and not all Mexicans are mean. In fact, most of them are not mean. Just like it happens with US, women.
This is just a friendly reminder that women are fun. Or maybe not all of them, but I can name very many men I know who are not fun either. At all.
Women comedians (Amy Schumer, Ellen DeGeneres etc.,I mean, c’mon!) are taking over. They are proving we can laugh at ourselves and our struggles and we can make others laugh. We can make men laugh. A lot.
Moms are not the bad cop. This comes from the fact that, still now, women take over most of the domestic work. They are the ones who take the kids to the dentist, remind them to do their homework and teach them to do laundry. Dad probably gets home just in time to sit on the couch and wait for dinner to be served while he plays around with the kids. And that is why we think he is the fun one. Not because he actually is the fun one while mom is MEAN.
Women should build each other up. They should empower each other. Women should create strong, healthy relationships with other women. They should respect other women’s decisions and criticize from a good point of view. All-women groups don’t have to be “dramatic.” They can be fun, inspiring, beautiful. Women supporting other women is what I live for.
Years after years of patriarchal, sexist and misogynistic education have done us wrong. But we are in time to change this. The sorority is our strongest weapon.
Go out and make a female friend. You will not regret it.