Dear Men, I Don’t Give A Shit About Your Opinions 0 1336

Dear men.  When I say that it is not the place of a man to tell a woman what sexism is, I don’t give a shit if you disagree.

Dear men.  When me and my girlfriends are sharing stories about awful men and how they treat us, I don’t give a shit about your opinion on the conversation.

Dear men.  When I explain how something is sexist, I don’t give a shit if you disagree.

Dear men.  When I say ‘this upset me,’ I don’t care if you just think it is hijinks.

Dear men.  When I say ‘don’t do that,’ I don’t give a shit if you think it is fair or not.

Dear men.  When I share an example of sexism, I don’t give a shit about your arguments that it isn’t actually sexist.

Dear men. When I say that discussing microaggressions is as important as major aggressions, I don’t give a shit if you think that is valid.

Dear men.  When I write about feminism, I don’t give a shit if you feel hurt that I’m not writing about you.

Dear men.  When I say men are trash, I don’t give a shit if you #notallmen.

Dear men.  When I call a man out on his bullshit, I don’t give a shit if you agree or not.

Dear men.  When I share my personal experience of men’s crappy behaviour, I don’t give a shit if you believe me.

Dear men.  If you feel called out by something I say, I don’t give a shit about your hurt feelings.

Dear men.  When I’m debating a point, I don’t give a shit if you think I’m just a stereotypical angry feminist.

Dear men.  When you’ve proven you’re sexist, I don’t give a shit about how ‘nicely you treat your girlfriend.’

Dear men.  When you’ve belittled and gaslighted me, I don’t give a shit about your apologies.

Dear men.  When I explain that I understand that you personally are not an aggressor but that you arguing about sexism with someone who experiences it daily highlights the fact that we need to prioritise affected voices for everyone to have a greater understanding of the full situation. Yes, I do think you can have an opinion, but that as you don’t experience sexism, it’s kind of invalid in this particular circumstance. And even if you don’t agree, it would be more constructive for you to listen rather than continuing to perpetuate the original issue and I’ve tried to explain and I’ve tried to be nice but you won’t just sit down and fucking listen…I don’t give a shit about what you’re gonna say next.

And, dear men.  When I say I don’t give a shit about your opinions, I don’t give a shit if you don’t like it.

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F. R. Kesby is a poet and storyteller from Leeds, England. She studies language and literature, teaches English as a foreign language as well as writing (and ranting) about feminism, LGBTQ+ issues, her life as a disabled person and, of course, Doctor Who. You can find more of her writing on Spoons and Toons.

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