“Men like a little bit of meat on a woman,” said my mother.

Over the years since high school and all the way through college, all I ever got comments on were about my body type. I was “too thin” for men, as my family and community claims. They didn’t like that I wasn’t gaining enough weight for them. They didn’t like how I didn’t have a curve against my hips and no round ass to follow through with. And of course my favorite comment, “Men like a little bit of meat on a woman.” Everything always connected back to men. I was consistently told that I had to change how I look in order for a man to be slightly interested in me. That thought screwed with me for a long time. I was constantly comparing myself to other women on Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr, etc. I was obsessed. I wanted to change my body so bad. I wanted to change because I let others convince me to hate my body. 

Fast forward to my junior year of college, I was going to the gym regularly and became impatient waiting around for results. So one morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and completely fell in love with what I saw. This moment was life-changing for me because I wasn’t thinking about what others thought of me. I was completely focused on what I see and feel. I didn’t care if my ass wasn’t fat enough or hips weren’t wide enough, I am enough. That’s what mattered. It took me such a long time to come into terms of accepting how I was made. Are there certain parts of my appearance I want to improve? Of course. But am I going to beat myself over the fact that I don’t look like a barbie doll or a Kardashian? No. Every woman is beautiful in her own way regardless of what type of body she has. No one, especially men, can tell you that the way you are is wrong.

Start looking at the mirror more often. Admire the art you hold within you and embrace it. We, as women, get a lot of criticism for how we look, dress, present, even breathe, HAHA! I think it’s important for us to be very gentle with ourselves and unlearn what we have been taught to be sorry for.

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