Victims never win, do they?

In recent days, I’ve come to realize just how bad fragile masculinity and internal misogyny is. In the wake of Kavanaugh getting confirmed, I have seen some men and women rear their ugly heads to victim blame and defend predators.

Let’s start with how social media has been lately after the Kavanaugh case. Some men have the nerve to say, “now everything is sexual harassment.”

Since some people can’t comprehend this concept, here are a few steps to not be a sexual harasser:

  1. Ask permission, especially if you’re not super close to this person.
  2. If the person says no, stop.
  3. If the person says yes, proceed.
  4. If the person says no, but you still touch them, it is sexual harassment.

It truly is upsetting when men can’t seem to understand this, why do they feel so entitled to our bodies that they can’t take no for an answer. This goes beyond workplace harassment, beyond school/college; it even happens in families and religious places. When these things occur, some people never fail to show how the education system truly did nothing to help them develop meaningful opinions by being jerks on the internet.

“Why didn’t you report? You’re doing it wrong,” says an ignorant person.

Because nobody believes victims, abusers always hide behind the facade of a noble man. Society is more concerned with what the victim was wearing instead of exposing the abuser. Families sweep the dirt under carpets and forget the traumas of their children because who cares, right? Forget about how we’re protecting the person who violated you; don’t be so sensitive. Also, make sure you tell nobody about what happened; you’re a disgrace if you do so.

“I’m scared to even befriend women. I’m going to wear a bodycam to show proof that I didn’t touch anyone in the event that I am accused of sexual harassment.”

This is the kind of comment I see on social media. First of all, if you’re so scared of getting accused, it probably means that you don’t know what boundaries are and how to control your urges. A much cheaper way of avoiding accusation is, oh, I don’t know, maybe keep your hands to yourself?

“The #metoo movement is for women to gain fame; now, everyone is suddenly a victim.” 

I know a lot of people who want to be famous, but I’m a teenager, and even I know that nobody wants to be famous for being a victim. I doubt there’s anyone who wants to be victim-blamed and degraded, but what do I know, right?

Tell me again about how you believe women aren’t oppressed and have it all.

The things you see online and hear from people can truly leave an impression, especially with younger girls and boys. All this bigotry is only going to amount to victims unable to cope with their trauma, how much more pain do you think one has to be in? Are you not man enough if you couldn’t fight off the predator? Are you not a dignified woman anymore if someone violates you?

In 2018, let’s not contribute to someone’s suffering by minimizing the existence of victims, and let’s be especially careful with what we say on social media regarding them.