It’s okay to not be okay. It’s okay that you can’t get out of bed and do something as simple as brush your hair for days at a time. It’s okay that you’d rather stay in bed than go out with your friends. It’s okay that you don’t know who the fuck you are or what the hell you’re doing with your life. Because the truth of the matter is, almost all of us have been there.
A mental illness is not something that can just go away; but oh, how we all wish it could. It takes days, months, and even years to be whole again. And it doesn’t matter how you get to that point. Whether you have to seek professional help, medical help, or even go through it alone. Just know that it will all be okay, because it may not seem like it now but it will. I promise you.
Almost a year ago I was a broken shell of a girl; I had officially hit rock bottom and even discovered that rock bottom has a basement. Depression is something I have struggled with all my life, and for as long as I can remember, I have always been this way. I had even decided in the third grade that I wouldn’t make it to my 18th birthday. But last year was the worse I have ever been.
I tried to take my own life on numerous occasions. I pushed away the limited amount of people in my life. I never ever left my room unless it was to use the restroom or get some food. But now, here I am, writing to you all. It’s 5 days until my 18th birthday and I’m a senior in high school. I’m going out anytime I can. I’m making new friends, I laugh more than I have in a long time, I can get out of bed everyday without being forced, and I rediscovered my love for writing. Now I’m not completely happy but God knows I haven’t been this happy in an extremely long time. And I know things can only get better, if I want them to.
It’s okay if you aren’t where you wish to be at this moment. It’s okay if things have gone to shit. Because in the end all things will get better and work out. I know that sounds so cliche but it’s true!
Even if you’re going through this alone you can still find a way to get through this. Build up as much courage as it takes and talk to your guidance counselor, or a favorite teacher. You can rant to your best friend or siblings. And if you think no one would care or listen, then take up writing in a journal or painting or photography. Any artistic outlet that will able you to express yourself and free your mind is always the start of something positive.
Just take a deep breath, drink some water, and remember it’ll all be okay.