Over the years as I grew up, I had to struggle to fit into the “ideal” body image that this society has always created. Those PE lessons were torturous with the constant disapproving glare of the gym teacher, observing my every single movement. And the time I stepped onto the weighing scale and heard my classmates snicker behind me. About the time when I couldn’t eat anything in school because I was too shy and maybe a little bit too sensitive to any brutal comments thrown at me. There was a time I refused to go out to shop for new clothes to save myself and my parents from the initial embarrassment of repeatedly having to reject a perfect outfit just because it didn’t fit.
“No one is interested in an overweight woman”
I was frequently reminded how I had to change myself, lose weight in order to attract “men” towards me. I was regularly reminded about my marriage in the future and how ” no one is interested in an overweight woman.”
My whole day would crumble down if I saw someone pass by me, pointing at my flabby stomach and laughing. Or if I heard someone say insensitive words about how I should be dressing “according” to my weight. Most of the times, it was someone from within my family who would bug me about this and then say “you really need to have more confidence.” I was told that the curves on my body attracted the wrong kind of attention. Opening Istagram, Twitter, as I laid my eyes upon the flawless pictures of different celebrities, I would double tap the pictures and like them socially, but inside, I’d want to become like them. Thin, beautiful, elegant. Tears slid down my face whenever i had to attend a family gathering or any other social event. i couldn’t bring myself to talk to anyone or socialise anymore. I completely cut myself off of my social media and I wouldn’t upload my pictures. I wanted to change myself. I wanted to change the way I looked. I was obsessed with the thought of change.
However, the only thing I should’ve changed was my mentality. The way I thought about myself like I was nothing and I didn’t belong here. I felt worthless and let people walk all over me. I should’ve known better than to give society what it wanted from me. Because the only one you should be serving, is yourself.
You see that’s what the society has been doing. These people, they have created this perfect image of a woman’s body and they expect every single woman to step on this Earth to be shaped exactly according to their expectations. They’ll emotionally torture a woman until she moulds herself into the shape which satisfies them. To them, a woman who does not look like their desired way, is not up to their standards and definitely not worth their time.
Changing the way you think can deeply effect your view of yourself. You’d start seeing yourself as a different person, a beautiful person if you think positively. No one in this world has the right to make you feel like shit. It’s your mind who plays these games on your heart.
No matter if you have a lot of meat on your bones, or if you don’t have any meat on your bones. No matter if you are tall or short. If you have a curvy body or no curves at all. No matter what colour you are. As long as you stay happy and accept yourself the way you are, you’re beautiful.