You had a thing with a boy and you liked him, but suddenly, he has a girlfriend. You’re wondering what happened, how it happened so quick, and why weren’t you the one who got picked? You’re not upset with the other girl, it’s not her fault he had one of you in both of his hands, but it still makes you wonder why not me?
You tell yourself that you are “too much” for him. He doesn’t like you because you are independent and you are happy without him. You have your own interests and opinions and you aren’t going to sit around feeding his ego. You have dreams and aspirations. You’re smart, you’re funny, you’re attractive… these are traits men say they want so why are you alone?
You start to shrink yourself. Yeah, you’re opinionated and knowledgeable but when boys start spouting false information and sharing their rude opinions, instead of calling them out you decide to bite your tongue. No one likes a girl who is putting men in their place and you know you’re supposed to be docile and submissive.
On first dates, you stop telling them about the things that truly interest you, because no man wants to sit and listen to you talk about feminism, politics, or movies. You sit and listen to his opinions and his interests, nodding your head in agreement because that’s what boys want.
Then you realize that even in your shrunken state, boys still aren’t treating you how you want to be treated and again you wonder… why not me?
There’s no answer to it, not one that will make you feel better. The guy sucks and he uses women to feel better about himself, and that’s why not you. Because even when you shrink yourself, you still radiate fierce independent and they know they’re not enough for you. You’re not too much, they’re too little.
Being passionate does not make you crazy. And being “crazy” isn’t even a bad thing. Women have been conditioned to believe that the worst thing that can happen to them is having a boy call them crazy but it’s not. Your craziness is endearing, your intelligence and sense of humor are what make you so special.
From a young age, girls are taught that they are too bossy, too emotional, and too passionate about the wrong things. You know that in this society you’re not meant to have any strong opinions, and when you do, you’re made fun of.
Don’t let this opinion ruin your light. When a boy tells you you’re too much for them, let that be a match that makes you shine brighter. When you’re called crazy for getting upset over something you care about, use that to build yourself up. Boys often want someone smart but not smarter than them. You know what though? Fuck that. You’ll find someone who appreciates the way you are.
Turn the sad question “why not me?” into a source of power. “Why not me?” And truly why not you! You are just as deserving as anyone else!
