Why Is It Always “Her” Fault? 0 410

Have you noticed that every time we have a heterosexual couple that breaks up, we somehow automatically blame the woman in the relationship? Or when someone is accused of the crime a MAN committed, somehow it reverts back to the idea that the woman is at fault. The worst one is when WOMEN are blaming other women instead of standing by their sides! If you are going to read this in hopes of finding an answer to the questions above, it will not be the place for that, but it will be a mere remark of the blatant discrimination/sexism whatever you want to classify it as.

Every break-up I have heard of, the person at fault always tends to be the woman. I mean let’s take a dive in the love lives of the celebrities, the most discussed being Ariana Grande’s. Have you all seen the tweets and or countless media outlets shaming her when she ended her relationship with Mac Miller and then jumped into a relationship with Pete Davidson? They had a field day ripping her apart, starting from ripping apart her character to denouncing her actions. And when the time came that she broke things off with Pete Davidson, she was blamed for his mental state.

Um…excuse me, what?

I’m sorry we cannot automatically blame the woman in the relationship for all the reasons things might have gone wrong. Then again, I am in no way saying that the woman is not to blame in its entirety. But for some reason. We always love to make sure to attack them if things go wrong in relationships as seen with her.

If you think that this is only one isolated case. Then I’m afraid you have mistaken. The prime examples would be Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. She was vilified when they broke up (not to also mention when they got together too but that’s a story on its own). She was categorized as the nasty ex who wanted nothing but to make his life hell by dragging him through every legal proceeding out there.

Then there was the Amber Heard and Johnny Depp fiasco. She was dragged through the mud and ripped through by every media outlet out there. But guess what? Nothing, I repeat NOTHING happened to Johnny Depp. He went on to play leading roles in blockbuster movies, he’s still celebrated and idolizes. The men are praised who “going out” and being in the public. And awarded the metaphorical badges of honour for bagging the next “hottie” that they were supposedly seen out with next. For example, Pete Davidson being seen holding hands with Kate Beckinsale. There are more but I think we get the idea. Fair?… I think not. But this will continue to happen and unfortunately, you see this day to day with the #METOO movement.

The #MeToo movement might have been a recent event and because of has become more and more socially acceptable to have women and men come out with their stories of injustice but it was not always the case. Let’s bring it back to several years back when Megan Fox was the “IT” girl. And then in an instant, all of the sudden, she had vanished. Why? Because she said this about her director Michael Bay; “…he wants to create this insane, infamous mad-man reputation. He wants to be like Hitler on his sets, and he is. So he’s a nightmare to work for but when you get him away from the set, and he’s not in director mode, I kind of really enjoy his personality because he’s so awkward, so hopelessly awkward. He has no social skills at all. It’s endearing to watch him. He’s so vulnerable and fragile in real life and then on set, he’s a tyrant”. This was an excerpt from her interview with Wonderland Magazine.

This didn’t set so well with Bay. He spewed rumours all over the business about her “so-called” tantrums, with a letter from crew members unanimously degrading her. Even with her countless stories of how inappropriate he was at times with her. It didn’t matter, because he held the power. She was basically blacklisted from the business in its entirety. She did rekindle her relationship with Bay but the damage was done. It just goes to show that women regardless of their social capital can always be pushed off to the side so that their stories never come into light.

Fox was not the only one to face such wrath. We already know about the likes of Kesha, Rose McGowan, Mira Sorvino, and Ashley Judd, but there are countless others that are still to this day afraid to come out. Why? Well because these people in power ensure that they shatter every ounce of their credibility because once that’s done, nothing they say or do will change the minds of the people. Because who believes a person who cried wolf one too many times?

You know what I have realized when it comes to always blame the “woman” in each situation. The fact that many other women are the ones who don’t believe them. Why is it always and only the woman who is at fault for an alleged cheating scandal? I mean let’s dive right into the whole Khloe-Tristan-Jordyn situation. All over social media, we are seeing an outpour of hate for Jordyn for allegedly being with Tristan. Khloe for being cheated on. Whereas almost complimenting and condoning Tristan for cheating on his fiancé, Khloe, with Jordyn, because “how could a man control himself around such a beauty”. It baffles me that we are not treating these two in the same way. Jordyn and Tristan are BOTH at fault and Khloe is NOT to blame at all. So we need to stop the one-sided hatred in these types of situations.

But hey, who am I to decide that right? Most of you have made up your minds about the Kardashians being the evil incarcerated, hence deserving of all that comes to them. But come on. Let’s be logical here and just stop and evaluate the situation. And let this thought sink in: STOP BLAMING WOMEN FOR YOUR SHORTCOMINGS.

This patriarchal society has made it impossible for women to support other women. It has created a social language that ensures that women are forever pitted against each other in life. Being socialized to subconsciously think that there can only be one of them so they must compete against one and another. We see this all too often in real life and movies. Such as the best-dressed list, most beautiful woman or sexiest woman and etc. Always ensuring and or plotting so that no two strong women can work alongside, take Nicki and Cardi. They are both phenomenal artists but the media has made sure that they never unite. Because we all know of all women come as one we WILL rule.

What can we do from here? I wish I had a concrete answer or plan that would ensure that it is not always the woman’s fault. But let’s be honest that won’t happen. They’ve been accusing women, who speak their mind, of spreading ill thoughts since the witch hunts in Salem. The only thing that would change this thought process from here on out is the complete socialization of all humans. Getting rid of all social factors that play into such power dynamics. Out with patriarchy! But until then, let’s keep the movements going and stand by and for each other.

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Graduate in Sociology and Anthropology. Bookworm, Cinephile and Tweetaholic.

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