Dating. It can be fun, exciting, loving, and long-lasting. But it also can be hard. It takes sacrifice, compromise, and patience.
One of the most important things for couples to do is hang out – get closer! Spending time together is a sure-fire way to deepen any connection.
But how do we do that during quarantine?
Well, each relationship is different and needs different things. Maybe you are in a long distance relationship, or you’re quarantining together, or you could even be out there playing the field on dating apps.
Regardless of your situation, there are ways to combat this time of quarantine to keep the magic alive, keep your relationship afloat, or keep yourself in the game!
It’s hard. There, I said it.
It isn’t easy to be away from your partner, especially during a time when there isn’t as much to keep yourself occupied with. One of the things you want to do when you’re in love is hang out with your partner – they’re probably one of, if not your best friend.
I spent four of the first six months of my relationship in quarantine. We started dating in December, I left school for home in March, and I didn’t see him again until July.
Let me tell you that shit wasn’t easy. Some days were great. Others were terrible. It took both of us to keep things working. After my experience and knowing other couples in quarantine, here are three sure-fire ways to help any long-distance relationship – not only during these times.
- Don’t talk every second of every day: This is one of the most important things. In the beginning of quarantine my boyfriend and I talked aaalllll day. It was exhausting. We talked so much, we basically ran out of things to say. When there isn’t much going on and not much you do during the day and all you do is talk, you end up running out of things to say. So occupy your day and then catch up at the end of the day. It’s healthier and it gives you something to look forward to!
- Have things planned: Plan stuff to do with each other! Plan a virtual date night or movie night. Even just doing some homework together can create a sense of togetherness that you wouldn’t get otherwise. Also, plan stuff you’re going to do when you see each other again. The best thing to do is to have a date planned for when you are going to see one another. Plan dates and things you want to do together when you finally reunite. Whether that be a year from then or a week from then, it makes the time feel less endless.
- Set goals for the week: During any time when things get slow, something great to do is set goals for yourself. These should be things to hold yourself accountable for so that you don’t get lost in the black hole of endless time in front of you. Something romantic and bond-building that couples can do is set goals together and then hold each other accountable for those goals. During quarantine, my boyfriend wanted to do yoga together every day. So, we held each other accountable for one yoga session a day. It allowed us to bond, feel accomplished, and it was nice to do something with one another even thousands of miles away from each other. Have a food goal, a workout goal, a school goal, anything to keep you and your partner checking in on one another and growing together.
Whether living together or deciding to quarantine at someone’s house, it can get rough. You get agitated quickly, you feel smothered or claustrophobic, or you just feel like each day is the same.
Spending time with your partner is always a must, but sometimes too much time together can be toxic. Here are 3 ways to have a healthy balance of time together so that things don’t get toxic:
- Don’t be afraid to take some alone time: Whether it is scheduled or spontaneous, alone time is a MUST. Our alone time is where we get to think, reflect and wind down. It is a necessary component to any healthy relationship. Don’t underestimate the importance of alone time. Even if you want to have alone time together, that’s ok too! Do some reading in the same room. Do some work together in comfortable silence. Even watching a show while you both sit in silence can be a great way to be alone together.
- Have your own spaces: This is a little different than alone time. Having your own space gives you autonomy and control. Having a sense of control in a time when everything feels out of your control is extremely important. Whether this space is a room, or a work space, or an area you like to workout in, this space is yours and yours alone.
- Plan (safe) things to do outside the house: Being locked up in the house all day gets old. Plan things to do together outside the house like a walk, a picnic in the park, a dinner, anything that is safe but fun. Especially with things opening up again, there is more to do than before: apple picking, pumpkin picking, see a movie, go to the mall, etc.
They’re new, they’re exciting, but they’re not full proof. Knowing what to say and how to say it to land that sweet 10 you finally came across is what is going to lead you to a first date instead of you getting ghosted.
Now, I have only used Tinder once. However, I did wind up with a guy I messaged – at least for a few months.
Here are my three pieces of advice for dating apps to hopefully help your Tinder, Hinge, Bumble, Grindr, eHarmony, or fill in the blank experience successful:
- Be yourself: People don’t hate anything more than a phony. Don’t lie about anything because in the end you’re going to want someone to like you for the real you. Plus, no lasting relationship I know starts off with lies – big or small.
- Have confidence (but don’t be a dick): People are drawn to confident, positive, and good energy filled people. Someone who is constantly putting themselves down is a draining presence and a turn off. Be confident in who you are, talk about your goals and aspirations, and don’t be afraid to talk about some achievements. BUT, know when to stop. There needs to be a balance between talking yourself up and being a bragger. A good balance is attractive, alluring, and overall a good time.
- Be upfront: This is probably the most important one. No one likes someone who can’t just say what’s on their mind. Beating around the bush is middle school shit. Just get to the point. You want to go on a date? Say it. Do you think the person you’re talking to is beautiful? Let them know. You’re not feeling this person anymore? Don’t lead them on anymore. Be honest and open from the jump about what you want – people find it more attractive than you think!
The act of dating and being in a relationship is different during this quarantine but it doesn’t mean you can’t stick it out, make it and be happy.