There has been quite the controversy, and differing opinions over gender reveal parties in recent years. Some soon-to-be parents share every milestone of their experience, including the discovery of the sex of their child. These individuals typically host a party with family and friends, document the anticipation, and then the blissful revelation of either pink or blue items, slices of cake, balloons, smoke, and confetti.
They declare, “it’s a boy,” or “it’s a girl.” There’s typically a lot of cheers, screams, and tears of joy. These individuals do not consider the harm of gender reveal parties, however. Others do. In actuality, gender reveal parties are defined as cisgender, heterosexual traditions that subsequently reinforce binary gender norms. Gender reveal parties declare that the unborn child is either a boy or a girl, and this declaration is fixed. The child does not possess a choice.
Where does this leave transgender individuals? Their community is certainly not considered.
While some have opposed and stopped gender reveal parties altogether, one brilliant mother decided to reconstruct the gender reveal party. Zoe Lynn hosted a gender reveal party for her six-year-old trans daughter, Avery. Honestly, Lynn should win mother of the year! She penned an incredible and emotional post on the social media platform, Facebook. In this post, Lynn addressed the struggles herself and her daughter endured during Avery’s journey to her true identity.
Additionally, Lynn illustrated the happy moments, and positive occurrences both herself and Avery encountered on Avery’s journey. It was a post highlighting highs and lows, ups and downs, but through it, all Zoe Lynn discovered love and acceptance for Avery’s true identity. Likewise, Avery found love and acceptance for her identity.
Lynn’s post read as follows:
“I’ll admit. I’ve fallen short on understanding the journey of different groups of people,” Lynn wrote on Facebook with the insertion of photos from the ceremony. “Over the years, I’ve tried to educate myself about the LGBTQ Community and the struggles they’ve faced. I like to think I’m empathetic. That I’m open-minded. At 2, my child requested a princess dress, and without blinking, it was in the shopping cart. Their bedroom was half cars and half baby dolls and princesses. They liked singing and performing so we signed them up for musical theatre and when the teacher said: ‘Oh the boy costumes are over here!’ They didn’t flinch, pointed to a purple princess dress, and said, ‘That’s OK I want that one!’”
She continued within the post, “Please don’t get me wrong. I’ve CRIED over this. I fell in love with a baby boy for years and had to let that go. I had to mourn the memories of naming my child and the ‘boy’ things she will probably spend the rest of her life trying to forget. I cried because I KNOW that my child’s life is going to be so SO much harder than other kids lives now. I cried because I know I didn’t understand before, and now so many other people who didn’t understand are going to target their lack of understanding at my baby.”
“But then I stopped crying,” Lynn added. “Because as much as I feel I’ve struggled, it will be so much harder for her. And while we already have a few people in our lives who are vocally unsupportive — we have an INCREDIBLE, AMAZING group of people that have never made her feel more loved. So, as the proud mommy of a 6-year-old girl, I’d like to introduce you to my daughter, Avery.”
So, while gender reveal parties are harmful, the reconstruction of this trend is incredible, safe, positive, and filled with acceptance and love. The reconstruction of gender reveal parties gives a choice to the child; when previously, there was none. Now children have the opportunity to reveal their own genders, and that’s a beautiful thing.
Happy Pride everyone!