You put pen to paper. It’s hard to think. You do this every year, but it just doesn’t feel right today. It barely even feels like a New Year’s Eve. Inauguration day is not until January 20. The COVID vaccine probably won’t be available to you until the spring. Tomorrow, January 1, will feel just like today.

You begin writing, lining the promises you break every year. At first, you decide to actually work on your body this year, but the gyms are still closed. You wonder if you’re going to be a more patient person, but there’s nowhere to go scream except for the thin white walls that have held you captive for the past nine months. You swear you’ll maintain better relationships, but only three of your friends have reached out to you at all this past year. There’s no energy left in you for social gatherings, which you suppose is good. It would’ve been harder to survive this year as an extrovert.

It really doesn’t matter. Every year, you try to fulfill these resolutions for the better part of January, and then you feel bored again. Now, there’s an excuse to do nothing.

And that’s okay. It’s enough that you survived 2020. You may have lost a job or a loved one. This pandemic likely disrupted all your plans. And that’s okay, too.

Focus on yourself, and don’t overpromise. If you really like putting your intentions on paper, try daily or weekly to-do lists. So, if anything, 2020 has shown you how unstable your concept of time is. After all, what’s a year but a series of weekly survivals?

Here’s to you, whatever goals you choose to achieve or forget in 2021. Happy New Year.

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