Trigger warning – sexual harassment.
“Do you know about the sex tape that a couple from Jakarta made?”
A lot of women and men asked me that particular question for these few days. They shared to me the posts, even the link, to a sex tape that a man made with his girlfriend. I read, I cringed, but I spotted something that always happens. Some guys asking for the links to that particular videos.
I would not be talking about the law enforcement because all Indonesians know that sharing a sex tape is a crime. But, I would talk about the moral and the ‘hypocrite’ aspect of it.
For years, Indonesian women have been tired of listening to men yelling, degrading, even abuse some of them to cover their body and for Muslims, it means wearing hijab. But, this sex tape opened my eyes about the other side of Indonesian people, especially men.
That sex tape (that the woman already confirmed that it is not her nor her partner) were shared everywhere. Twitter, LINE Message application, Instagram and without respecting the privacy of the woman by sharing her name too. The funny thing is that the comment fills with people, especially men, asking for the link of the video.
What I could not wrap my head around is the fact that all of these people that ask for the link to the video, in the other side, are the ones who mocked, harassed, and bullied the woman for being in that video. It is sickening and disgusting in the same time, especially when there will be people defending them by saying “boys will be boys.”
All of you already know that sharing a sex tape without the owner’s consent is a disrespectful thing. You violate their privacy. You disrespect the rights of their own body. Adding to that issue, you bullied the woman in that video, not knowing whether the man in that video forced her to agree with the recording or not.
What you do not have in mind is empathy. You just have this big chunk of hypocrisy because you asked for the video, meanwhile also bullying the woman on the internet, not realizing how much pain she will have.
Then, the “boys will be boys” comment still plays a role in this case. You need to know that it is not okay to normalize the idea that boys will always be evil and mean and that we should let them be that way. Teach the boys how to be human beings, have basic human decency, and do not normalize their unacceptable behavior.
Stop trying to normalize the idea that sharing a sex tape is a ‘funny joke’ and it is okay to do so, even just among your close peers. Stop trying to think that it is the woman fault if a sex tape is shared among other people.
Sharing a sex tape without one of the people’s consent is a crime and people who share it is a criminal.