The other day, my grandfather was telling me stories about his life when he was my age. He was telling me stories about how he had been sleeping around with women he met while stationed in Germany during the Vietnam War. However, afterward, he said that any woman who has had sex with more than 2 or 3 men is a slut.
“Well, how many people have you had sex with?” My mom asked him.
“That’s not appropriate, and it’s none of your business,” he snapped back.
Unfortunately, that’s how a lot of people view women’s sexual history. There are so many times where I’ve been on twitter and seen tweets that say things like, “if she’s had sex with more than ten guys, she’s a ho for life!” “no one wants a loose pussy,” or “who would want to have sex with a girl who can’t count the number of men she’s slept with on one hand?” Not to mention the #NoHymenNoDiamond hashtag that was viral for a while.
We are taught this from a young age; in sex-ed classes, women are compared to things like gum and shoes. No one wants used gum!!! And no one is going to want a girl who isn’t brand new!!!
The biggest issue with this form of thinking is that the men who are often saying this are men who are having casual sex with women. They want to have no-strings-attached sex with women, but then in a few years, they want to marry a pure girl who has never seen another dick in her life, and that’s just not how it works.
Men are allowed to be openly sexual beings. They’re allowed to talk about how they masturbate and how they love porn. They’re allowed to post about their dicks online, but when girls do it, it’s disgusting and not lady-like.
In reality, women are just as sex-driven as men. Women enjoy sex, women want to have sex too, and we, as a society, should stop shaming women for doing something that makes them feel good. A woman having multiple sexual partners does not make her dirty. It makes her a human being with the same wants and needs as the majority of the human population. A woman who has an active sex life can still go out and slay it in the career department. She can be a good mom. This is evident by Amber Rose. You can be sexual, maternal, and business savvy all in one.
Women have dimensions; they’re not flat objects that men get to mold into a person they like. Men don’t get to decide how many sexual partners is too many for a woman. The woman gets to decide how many is too many sexual partners for herself.
And before men start shaming women for having casual sex, they should ask themselves, “am I having casual sex with women?” and if the answer is yes, they better shut the fuck up.
