Supporting your pals is never the wrong thing to do in life. So why assume that I am part of the LGBTQ+ community when I write supportive statements or comments on online platforms?? Rather than noticing the fact that I am supporting them equally on online platforms through my writings.
I truly understand that as a victim of a certain norm or pressures, it must be devastating and rough. Going through something, without doing any mistake or harm is the worst anyone as human deserves. But, as a person who supports would support such instances, I would like to point out some setbacks of being a supporter. And, in any case, l would never compare me or my troubles with the actual fight the victims of inequality, discrimination or other similar issues.
We find organizations in many countries, making it legal for closeted gay people to come out. Steps are taken to ensure equality. Keeping aside, such legal actions, we all know the controversies which have no actual proof on some famous people. Rupi Kaur, known for her poetry, is also famously known for plagiarized content. If you like her poems, you like them. If you don’t, then you don’t read them. Yet, when she supports all the social issues in different parts of the world, people suspect her and have their own theories about whether she had personal experience. If she really wanted to popularize her experience, she would have. But, she only wanted to share her feelings through her words. Maybe, a close person experienced it, who knows?
I am not a personal fan of her poems, but we all know how popular she is. If that happens to someone as well known as her, it is obvious that it happens to many common people among their own circles too. Like myself.
When we find someone from our friends, family or colleagues, about their own personal problems which can actually be connected to Global issues like Gender-pay gap, LGBTQ community rights, Marital rape, infertility, religion, and a thousand other problems which we face as humans within our own society. And yet, people simply judge, conclude that every person who posts them, writes on the issue or shows public support, has a similar problem.
Maybe I have, maybe I don’t but that never stopped me from writing on these issues despite my circle (part of it) assuming that I am Gay, or experience sexual abuse or have religion barriers. I have always been supportive of those people whom I felt needed support, for those who actually needed support. I am simply a girl writing from her laptop from a city in India. I don’t have much experience, didn’t know anyone with issues personally before, I don’t go out to fight/rally because I am still a student who is struggling to be independent. But still, I have seen people message me, talk to me, convey their support in some form. I have not been a perfect writer, not yet. But still, because of my writings, because of my openness to sensitive issues, because of that little boldness shown through my words, people came forward.
Trust me, it isn’t that simple. I share the links, posts, and some from college or school come up and indirectly suspect. Some ask indirect questions to find out. Some would simply ignore, act like I don’t exist. Maybe in the U.S. Or Germany, some of these things are not bothered by fellow mates. But, surely in India with your cousins or your neighbor poking your door every time or some sort of all-year festival keeping everyone together is not a place where known people can be proud of the sensitive issues I write, not yet. Fortunately, my loved ones aren’t against it. I have supportive friends and family, despite all the accusations.
When you find a kid with the serious issue unable to afford for surgery, we feel empathy and donate some amount within our budget. This concept is pretty clear to everyone. But the concept of me showing support to the people affected by community norms is difficult to understand. How many more years would it take for everyone to consider emotional distress through the surrounding environment needs SUPPORT. It is REAL too.
Let’s suppose I have the issue/problem:
Yeah, let’s suppose so. Let’s say I’m lesbian or bisexual How would that be?
Now that I know how people would treat me when I come out, I have much better reasons to stay closeted. This is the situation when I understand how the millions of people out there are actually suffocating.
Being a feminist is much more than opposing men. It is about showing support to fellow-women, who get affected. Affected not just mentally, but in many more unimaginable ways. It can be for both men and women, to show support. A man supporting feminism is nothing new. Yet, I have come across people who consider me, a writer, who probably has 500 views as her max, too harsh and unrealistic.
Let’s not forget the idea of me and my image for marriage. Relatives pop-up asking if I would ever get married, if I talk such things. And trust me, so far, I have only used 2 or 3 sentences which might be a little off the radar. What world do such people live in??
Once, I had a vigorous verbal war with a guy who studied from the most prestigious college in India. He honestly believed that women are better off, with infertility, reducing the large population concerns. I wish I slapped him before he uttered another word. However, I did slap him with words, hard enough for him to block me. Proud are such moments.
Sometimes these incidents come as a shock to me on a personal level. Yet, when I come across people who have gone through the same situation, with people who dealt with such pathetic minded people, I feel good. I feel good that at least there is someone out there, who understands my shout for support.